Did you see the Mortal Instruments movie? It was awesome. Let me clarify by saying that I hadn’t read the books. Die hard fans weren’t pleased with some of the changes the script writers made to condense the novel into a two hour time frame. Since I read the books after, I could tell the differences, but they didn’t bother me.

Note to self. Always read books after the movies so you won’t be upset. Anyway, one of the things I loved about the movie and the books was the dialogue. I’m a sucker for snarky banter. (I aim for snarky banter in my upcoming release, Going Down In Flames, and hopefully I achieve it.) I’m not the only one who loves snark, especially Jace snark. There are pages on tumbler, Pinterest and Facebook devoted to quotes from Jace and other characters.

I’m going to share a few of them here with you, because I am obsessed and I want others to become obsessed too. Just a quick disclaimer: These are Cassandra Clare’s witty words from the Mortal Instruments series, not mine. Enjoy.

-Simon to Clary:  “That’s why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don’t say anything, they just nod. The nod means, ‘I am a badass, and I recognize that you, too, are a badass,’ but they don’t say anything because they’re Wolverine and Magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.”

-Jace:   “I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it’s more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored”

-“Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?” asked Jace.

“It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.” (Clary)
“As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome,” said Simon.
“I knew we should have left you a rat.” (Jace)

-“Just because you said dragon demons were extinct—”
“I said mostly extinct.”
Alec jabbed a finger toward him.
“Mostly extinct,” he said, his voice trembling with rage, “is NOT
EXTINCT ENOUGH.”
“I see,” said Jace. “I’ll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from ‘almost extinct’ to ‘not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.’ Will that make you happy?”

“We traded him for Alec,” Clary said.
“Not permanently”
“No,” said Jace. “Just for a few hours. Unless I don’t come back. In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy.”
“Mom and Dad won’t be pleased if they find out.”
“That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?” Simon inquired. “No, probably not.”

What are your favorite quotes from the Mortal Instruments series, or any other series you love?

To read more snarky Jace Wayland quotes, check out: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/jace-wayland?page=4  which is where I found the quotes for this article.